How Do You Say Goodbye to a Pet?

This weekend Smokey, our family cat, passed away. Not only was he truly one of the nicest cats of all time (with a very un-catlike disposition), he has been a part of our family for the kids’ entire lives. Without Smokey around, our house seems somewhat empty.

The cat was 15 and had been in declining health for months (as cats that old tend to be). Once a 21-pound Maine Coon heffer, he had dropped to 12 pounds by June as his age finally caught up with him. However, he remained an affectionate and playful member of the family who loved being with the kids.

Over this past week we realized that his time had finally come and we assumed that Ben and Georgia had too, as they had seen him barely eating and sleeping all day. The day before he passed, Georgia asked if he would be okay; without knowing the right answer, I just explained that he was very, very old. I didn’t want to make them too scared, but in retrospect I wonder if I should have prepared them for the inevitable?

When he finally died, the kids asked to pet him one more time. We explained that he wouldn’t feel the same because what made Smokey so special was his soul, and that was up in Heaven now. We held a little service for him that included fond memories, a note from Georgia, some gimp she had made at camp and a baseball from Ben. We buried him in a shady corner of the backyard and placed some stones on top of it as a marker. Through tears, we said goodbye to our sweet kitty and went inside.

I knew that we would all be sad when Smokey finally went but was a little unprepared at just how deeply it has affected Ben and Georgia. I took Georgia to see a close friend of ours who had recently lost his wife (a dear friend whom Georgia had also loved). He told her that when he needs to get through the sad times, sometimes he cries and sometimes he writes stories to his wife. He suggested writing Smokey a letter and then over a campfire with S’mores one night, burning the letter and letting the smoke take the words up to Heaven.  She liked that. 

Other friends who had recently lost a loved one told the kids that sometimes they talk to a picture because they still have things left to say, and Georgia immediately went to the old photo albums to find a good shot of Smokey. We promptly put one in a frame where it sits in honor on her bureau. 

I don’t know how long it will take for the kids to start healing, but for now we’re still in the throes of grief. We’ve visited his grave and cried some more and yes, there has even been talk of “a new cat” (I’m currently taking bets on how long until I hear “can we get a dog now?”). As much as I hope that they aren’t sad for too long, it is heartwarming to see how much love they are capable of and I hope that good ole’ Smokey is looking down with a Cheshire Cat grin on his face.

Something tells me he is.