Do You Sound Like Your Parents When Talking to Your Kid?

Do you remember the first time you heard your own parents’ words come flying out of your mouth? Every one of us has uttered at least once, “I will never say that to MY kids,” and sure enough turned right around and told them to “Eat what I made for you. This is NOT a restaurant!”

My parental sayings are, well, unique. My father was 25 years older than my mother and grew up in East Dedham during the Great Depression. He later became a WWII Navy man and thus had some choice adages. Take for example, the moniker that he gave himself: “Ole’ Cement Head.” As in, “Come on over here and let Ole’ Cement Head slip you a slobber!” (Translation: “Let your father give you a kiss hello.”)

He had so many “Dadisms” that I’m not sure I even understood what many of them meant. Yet there I’ll be, telling one of my children that they are “nuttier than a fruitcake,” “softer than a grape,” or just hollering out one of my all time favorites, “Ye Gods and Little Fishes!” Huh?

In stark contrast to the Dadisms are the Momisms. My mother hails from Taunton and sports a very endearing Boston accent, hence her nickname, Dahling (as in “Hello, Dahling, how AH you?”).

Where my Dad’s sayings were from another era and require a quirky sense of humor to fully appreciate, my Mom’s tend to come from famous quotations and historical references. Example: “Now Alexandra, buying the boys more sporting equipment for Christmas would be like carrying coals to Newcastle.” (Look that one up and work it into your next cocktail party conversation.)

As much as some of these sayings might sound odd coming out of a 38-year-old woman’s mouth, they are even more extraordinary when I hear a child – my OWN child – say them to me.

When my son Ben was five, he fell down and skinned his knee. After cleaning him up, I hugged him and asked if he was ok. He looked up at me with tear-brimmed eyes and said, “I’m alright, Mommy. I’ll live.” I remember wondering how a little kid like could sound so mature yet sarcastic, all at the same time. It was then I realized that those were my words – MY MOTHER’S WORDS! – being parroted back to me. After I stopped laughing and grasped hold of the verbal circle of life that we are all a part of, I vowed to stop gasping when I quote my parents and instead, revel in knowing that I’m passing on a very personal history.

It makes me wonder what those little “Alexisms” are that the kids will swear never to repeat. Will it be “Let’s TALK about it!” or “Just try it! You can’t fall off the floor, you know.” Whatever they are, I am sure that when I remark “Man, you guys are as sharp as a marble,” they will shudder with embarrassment and pray that none of their friends know just how weird their mom is. And sure enough, in 20 years, they’ll be saying the exact same words to their own kids.

Somewhere, Ole’ Cement Head is laughing.