This Sunday, I de-Christmafied my house.
It’s an amazing phenomenon…come the first weekend in December I can’t wait to hang the twinkle lights but by the 26th, the mere thought of a pine needle makes me want to hurl.
You must understand, I go big at Christmas. BIG. There is not a single room in the house that doesn’t boast at least one decoration, whether it’s as subtle as a candle in a window or as over-the-top as lit garlands on every flat surface available. The smell of Hollyberry wafts throughout the house and Chez Shumway is sparkly for three weeks straight. At the time, it’s magical.
But once Christmas is over, I want it GONE.
I set out to get it done quickly and went straight to work. I made the conscious decision to hold off on showering until it was all put back into the attic, as de-Christmasing is a pretty dusty endeavor (not to mention the destruction it causes to one’s dry hands and nails). Dressed in my jammies and slippers, I vowed that it would be finished within an hour.
Not even close.
I started with the kitchen, as that was really the heart of Santa’s Little Dedham-based Workshop. This year, I had the brilliant idea to hang twinkling garlands ON TOP of the kitchen cabinets (curse you, Pinterest) and although putting them up involved in actual stepladder, the post-Christmas Grinch in me pretty much ripped them down while teetering on a stool. Not the safest activity, I’ll admit, but effective nonetheless.
One room down.
I made my way through the house, wrapping up window candles, stuffing them in a paper bag and trying to remember to keep all the extension cords together (epic fail). Many trips to the sad corner of the cold, cold attic where the Christmas decorations spend 11 months a year left me feeling as though I was making progress. Of course, I knew that Mount Everest – the Christmas Tree – lay ahead and so I soldiered on.
Andy took the kids sledding leaving me against the Tree. Game on.
Like a world-class sprinter, I moved quickly. Off came the lights and the ornaments were tossed into a giant box (I gave up on individually wrapping them years ago; it’s not like I juggle them during the summer). Cut up from those dry needles, I pulled the tree out just as the kids were coming home and set it on the curb. Although Quinn couldn’t understand “Why is Christmastime ovah?” I vacuumed, put the furniture back where it belonged and proudly took my shower. I win!
Although I’m always wishing on de-Christmafying Day that I could travel back in time and plead with December 4th Alex not to decorate so heavily, I know that I’ll never learn. It’s a magical few weeks but when it’s gone, I’m one happy camper.
I mean, I’m in desperate need of a deeply moisturizing manicure, but I’m relaxed. Bring on 2013.
Happy New Year to all!